Happiness should Never Depend on a Guy

Diary Entry Background:
I went to a private Highschool outside of town but had wanted to go to the public school in my town. I often met kids at the public school from my grade school friends who went there. Another background tidbit? I was never the type of girls boys took much interest in. It wasn't until age 19 that I had a boyfriend
Original Entry Date:
August 27, 1998
Age: 15

Dear Diary,

Wow you know I have never felt this way before and I just don't get it. I mean I love it at my highschool but lately I've been thinking how awesome it'd be to go to the highschool in my town. I mean lately I've been talking to a lot of the people from the other school and they all seem cool. I especially mean the guys there. I might actually I mean I could actually have a boyfriend and a social life at the other school. I mean let's face it, no guy at private school would ever be interested in going out with me. But at public school, Dave, Joe, John all these guys talk to me and I feel like an actual girl who guys are interested in, I like it but I'm not expecting it to last long.

Sincerely,
Megs

Dear Megs,

Self Confidence and True Happiness are a hard thing to come by. It takes years to build and the slightest blow can throw it off track. Being invisible to guys as a teenager is tough...trust me I know! It really slows down that road to self confidence and its unfortunate that the slightest attention from a guy is what builds it up. Depending on reassurance from a guy to build your self-worth is a very, very slippery road to go down.

No man, boy, guy should EVER define who you are. Let me repeat that: NO man, boy, guy should ever define who you are. If you only believe you are beautiful and worthy of love when a man pays attention to you, you will have a very hard time finding happiness. A girl needing attention from a man to feel worthy of love is the root of so many long term relationship problems. Relationships and love are a great experience but it has to be born of mutual love and respect for one another.

We all want to feel beautiful and a Man's love is sure to help us feel that way. But you are beautiful in and out, each of us is and we don't need a man to recognize this for it to be true. You need to believe it yourself first and foremost. Do you know what is the most attractive feature to men? A woman who is confident and comfortable with who she is. If you constantly need attention from a man for reassurance, this is a huge turnoff and the quickest way to get used and dumped to the curb. You've heard men call women desperate and crazy, right? Only feeling happy when a guy is paying attention to you is the quickest way to get this reputation!

5 years ago I met a wonderful guy. At the time, I had been single for a good 3 years and was enjoying that time to learn more about myself as an individual. I didn't want to throw myself into a relationship because I was enjoying that time where I was learning to just be me. However, I knew this guy was a keeper. How did I know? Shortly after we met, I indicated that the most important thing to me is to be fully confident and happy with who I am as an individual before I join my life with someone else. If I can make myself happy, only then can I make someone else happy. He was patient and understood where I was coming from and it actually made him more attracted to me. This is the type of guy you need to find. The one who lets you shine and loves you more for it. Know how to be an individual before you be a couple. This amazing guy is still with me today and that mutual love and respect has made the both of us incredibly happy together.

So what am I trying to say here? Learn to make yourself happy first and foremost. If you depend on a guy to make you happy, true happiness will be hard to come by. Having someone special in your life should only enrich it, not be what defines you. Exude Utter Confidence and Men won't be able to resist your charm! :)