Dreaming of Cinderella

Diary Entry Background:
The first dance of my 8th Grade Year
Date: August 24, 1996
Age 13

Dear Diary,
I HATE my life! Nothing Ever goes right. I think this 8th grade year is going to be the worst. I just want to go to Highschool and start over. No matter how much I change everybody is going to remember me as the crybaby nerd who's quiet and is ugly and weird because that's what I was. No one even bothers to get to know me or talk to me. Our first dance was tonight and it was the worst one EVER! I felt so lost and out of place like I didn't belong there. Why do I only look pretty and act cool when it doesn't matter? 8th grade hasn't even started yet and already it looks horrible. I can't stand another year with friends who sometimes like me and sometimes don't. I'm never going to be popular or a movie star. I HATE MY LIFE!

Dear Megs,
When it comes to big events, it is hard not to set high expectations. Every movie, every TV show, every book always fantasizes this moment for girls like us. The unpopular awkward girl who just wants to come out of her shell gets all dolled up arrives at the dance, the music stops, everyone stares amazed and astounded that you are the same girl they see at school, the cute boy asks you to dance, all eyes on the two of you...etc. I call it the Cinderella effect. We all want the fairytale and expect life to be like that. Sadly, it doesn't play out that way and so often life fails to meet our fantasized expectations.

I'm sure it sounds crazy, but I really thought my night was going to be just like the movies. I remember I had spent all this time getting ready. I bought this awesome velour shirt (yes it was cool back then), new makeup, did my nails, curled my hair, had my bangs just right...I thought this night could change the course of my 8th grade year. With such high expectations, I was bound to be let down.

You know what? I still do this. I fantasize about certain events and nights (dates, weddings, reunions, parties, etc.). I go and find the perfect outfit and dream about a perfect night. And every time the moment fails to meet my expectations. However, today it isn't as crushing when things don't go my way. I suppose as we grow older we still like to dream and fantasize that our life is like a romantic comedy and we are the star.

But I now know these fantasies are just that, dreams, and life doesn't flow that way. So instead of being let down I just learn to enjoy and live in the moment. You will have soooo much more fun and great things will happen if you just live your life instead of a dreamed up version of what you think it should be. It will never be perfect but that's okay...you can have plenty of fun in an imperfect life. I've made some incredible memories in those years since that dance and I know I have many more to come.